The Great Misbelief -Why the Idea That "People Can't Change" May Be the Most Dangerous Lie in Human History

Some people say people never change. I say they never got curious enough to try. Or they were told it’s not possible. Maybe they believed the lie because it gave them permission to stop growing. But here’s the truth: The moment you believe you’re set in stone, you’ve handed over the chisel to someone else.

I remember a conversation. One that still echoes in my bones. It wasn’t just a disagreement. It was a collision between two worldviews.

The man looked at me, calm and convinced, and said, “People don’t really change. You are who you are. Leaders are born that way. You either have it, or you don’t.”

I don’t blame him for believing that. It’s a belief that’s baked into cultures, passed down like old furniture, unexamined but ever-present. But let me be clear:

That belief is poison. And it kills potential faster than failure ever could.

First Principles: What Are We Sure Is True?

Let’s start from the foundation. What are the basic truths we know?

1. Human beings are neuroplastic.

2. Identity is a story we tell ourselves, and stories can change.

3. Growth is not a myth; it’s a biological, emotional, and spiritual fact.

So why do so many still believe in fixedness?

Because it’s safe. Predictable. And it absolves you from the work of transformation. But safety isn’t the same as sovereignty. And predictability isn’t the same as purpose.

The Science of Change: Not a Myth, a Mechanism

Dr. Carol Dweck, the pioneering psychologist behind Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, studied thousands of students and found that those who believed their abilities could grow with effort outperformed those who believed talent was fixed—even when starting with less skill. (Dweck, 2006)

Her research birthed what’s now globally known as the Growth Mindset. It’s not just a belief—it’s a worldview, a way of living.

In brain scans, neuroscientists observed that those with a growth mindset had more active learning centers. They physiologically processed setbacks differently, as opportunities, not failures.

That’s not a mindset. That’s a system upgrade.

Key Source: Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House.

The Root of the Misbelief

So, where does this lie come from?

Let’s ask Why?—five times.

1. Why do people think change isn’t possible? Because they haven’t seen it modeled.

2. Why haven’t they seen it modeled? Because we highlight outcomes, not processes.

3. Why do we highlight outcomes? Because outcomes are faster to judge.

4. Why do we judge fast? Because discomfort scares us.

5. Why does discomfort scare us? Because we were never taught how to grow through it—only avoid it.

This lie about fixedness isn’t truth. It’s cultural conditioning. And if you’ve accepted it, it’s not your fault—but it is your responsibility to challenge it.

The Damage It Does

When you believe people can’t change:

• You give up before you've even begun.

• You settle for jobs, relationships, and habits that drain you.

• You limit others, labeling them by their past.

• You misread leadership as charisma instead of commitment.

You don’t build your Kingdom—you rent someone else’s blueprint.

What It Really Means to Lead

Leadership isn’t a birthright. It’s a decision—repeated daily.

Some of the world’s greatest leaders didn’t come from greatness. They rose because they outgrew the belief that they were stuck.

• Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison. He emerged wiser, not bitter.

• Malala Yousafzai was shot for going to school. She became a Nobel Prize winner.

• Stephen McConnell grew up with hardship, dropped out of college, fought addiction, lost time—but transformed his identity through clarity, consistency, and self-leadership.

They weren’t born leaders. They chose it. Again and again.

So, Let Me Ask You...

Have you ever said:

• “That’s just the way I am.”

• “I’m not cut out for leadership.”

• “People never really change.”

Then my friend, you may be carrying the oldest virus known to man: the misbelief of fixed identity.

Challenge Yourself

Let’s break it.

Test yourself right now. Ask:

1. What’s one area I’ve stopped trying to improve because I don’t think it’s ‘me’?

2. Who in my life have I written off as “never going to change”?

3. What’s one lie I’m still telling myself about who I am?

Now flip them.

• What if it could be me?

• What if they could grow?

• What if the story isn’t over?

Call to Rise

If any of this struck a nerve—it’s not coincidence. It’s confirmation.

You’re not reading this because you’re stuck. You’re reading this because something in you knows it’s time to rise.